Monday, 25 April 2016

My Argument

For writing we have been learning to write an argument using the writing process. The topic was “Are Devices Taking Over Our Lives”.

Something I did really well in my writing was…
  • Making my paragraphs really detailed
  • Evaluating on my ideas heaps
  • Using strong words and connectives to connect my ideas and paragraphs

Here are some sections of my writing that shows this.
XxCdkf  = Connectives
Technology is taking over our lives


I believe that technology is taking over our lives. How though? In a good way or a bad way? There is a variety of different reasons on both sides, for instance technology is stopping people from ruining nature because people have to cut down trees for paper but also in a bad way technology is bad for your health and lifestyle because it ruins people’s eyesight. Here are some good ways that technology is making the world a better place.

Good ways technology is taking over the world is by saving trees.                                                                                                                  
For example trees help us to breath and live they also give us paper to write on, draw on, and do heaps of other things with, paper comes from trees, trees are a part of nature and nature will get ruined if we continue on to waste paper.

This piece of my writing shows how I used connectives in my writing to connect ideas and paragraphs

Another reason technology is helping us make the world a better place is by helping paralyzed or disabled people by giving them the treatments with technology. With technology people can also make bones and other body parts to give to people so they can be the same as everyone else. For example imagine someone who doesn’t have a leg, people would be scared of them thinking that having one leg is disgusting when actually they are probably the coolest person in the world. Imagine how helpful technology could be to them and give them a fake leg that can help people like them make friends and make their life better

This piece of writing shows how I have evaluated on my idea with an example

Overall I think that devices are taking over our lives. Technology is amazing and a great thing to have but too much of it can harm people's lives and the world. I personally feel that technology should be in our lives but not the centre of attention, it shouldn't be in your way. Just because you want to play a game at a certain time that doesn't mean you can lie to your friend saying that you are busy when you're actually not. Go outside and do something active it's good for your brain and body whereas technology isn't it doesn't make you be more active it makes you more lazy and just want to sit there all day long. Of course devices are good for rainy days but if you stay locked in your room with the curtains shut just with your eyes on your screen that will ruin your eyes, open those curtains, it may just be the best day to go outside and hang out with your friends.

This piece of writing shows how I have detailed my overall statement by adding heaps of detail and but not making it too long

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